Untitled.

I really didn't know what to title this post. I feel such an array of emotions and thoughts that I'm not even sure in what general direction this post will go. I sort of feel as though it's acting as my personal public diary today. Bear with me and if you get tired of my rambling, remember you can always click exit and forget about it; though I hope you don't.


I have this undeniable feeling today like the weight of the world is just perched atop my shoulders. I woke up with this heavy sense of compassion and sympathy for just about anything and everything. I feel as though I'm just sucking up whatever energy is lurking around. I've been reading a very moving book for the past couple days and my brain has just been busy. I don't think there is anytime that my brain hasn't been busy since I can remember.


2012 is a number and a  year that has the whole world on the verge of madness and hysteria. My personal thoughts and beliefs of what will come in the future are just a drop in the bucket with the rest of what the billions of us believe. What I do believe is that our Earth, our world, our home, can't take very much of what we administer to her each and every second of the day.


Each day somewhere around the world someone is dumping a bunch of toxic waste into our water ways. Sure not every single piece of land has a nuclear power plant occupying a huge chunk of space, but many countries do and the constant heap of trash that we bury, pour, dump, submerge, and toss upon the planet surely makes a difference in the quality of our living and the integrity of our world as a whole.


"Oh, but I recycle sometimes so it's okay." Yeah I recycle too and I think it should be mandatory that recycling/upcycling take place in each and every town. If people are paying for trash service, recycling should be included in that price, not an extra charge. But in order to really make a difference, why don't we just cut back? Stop making almost any and everything into plastic?! Sure it can be recycled, but plastic is not an organic compound; no matter how long you give it plastic never truly decomposes. Plus it's not exactly safe, chemicals leach in and out of it, and the list goes on and on.


So we're basically being poisoned by our worlds governments, and they know it. And slowly but surely more and more of us are learning about it and realizing that there's not just a bunch of paranoid crazy people popping off at the mouth. On to my next topic....


WORRYING ABOUT WHAT OTHERS THINK OF YOU! Sorry to "yell", but this is a big one lately; at least with me. For so long I remember actually genuinely caring about what other people thought of me. And if I thought that someone caught a bad impression of me, I'd worry. I'd think, "Oh geez, I hope so and so didn't think that I was being mean. I hope they know I was just kidding. But what if they don't? They'll think I'm such an ass.." Blah.Blah.Blah. Fast forward to January 23, 2012. I don't give a shit about what people think of me anymore. This mentality started awhile before todays date but I just have to share it. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I walk around giving everyone the middle finger, judging, screaming, and being rude. But more of what I'm trying to say, is I am me. This is who I am. I am finally comfortable with just letting everyone see me for all that I am. I'm passionate. I like to talk. I like to write poems. Sometimes I do things without fully thinking them through. I like to help others and pass along what knowledge I can. I love people. Well I love people who can love me for me; who can respect me and who can accept my respect and love in return. Just because we believe different things, do varying activities in our time, whatever, doesn't mean I can't love you for what you are. All I ask is for the same love and respect in return.


New thought. Just because I talk about my lifestyle, my experiences, my findings doesn't mean I am belittling, disapproving, or judging your experience or views. Key example: when I speak to some people about our birth experience. Most all mothers can chime in with me, when you take your brand new baby out and about, no matter the place, people are bound to ask questions. "Awww, how old is he?" Reply. "SHE is just a week old." That one never gets old. "Oh my gosh you have her out so soon? Where did you deliver? I bet you had an epidural!" Hmm. Okay. So why is it that when I respond with, "No I didn't. We chose an unmedicated birth", people do (usually) one of several things. 1. Get offended and/or defensive. 2. Tell me that I am tough. Or more of a woman than them. 3. Call me a hippie. 4. Be happy for me.


Obviously, I like number 4 the best. It really uplifts me when someone can just be happy for someone else, especially a complete stranger. It's really upsetting when you are the one being questioned, and yet are also the one who is feeling akward and embarrassed. When women doubt themselves or say that I am more of a woman than them, my feelings get hurt. I get this sad pain in my stomach. What has made any woman feel inferior to any other woman? We should all be confident and proud. Do I wish  more women and especially expecting mothers knew just how tarnished the "rules and regulations" of childbirth are in our country? Of course. Our last few generations have been taught  told by doctors, hospitals, and here's the big one...INSURANCE companies what childbirth is, and will be. Too many doctors, surgeons (yes, an ob/gyn is a surgeon.) are scheduling the birth of babies, taking a little too much advanatage of that antsy mama who wants to see her baby. Not letting her in on the magnitude of the major abdominal surgery she is about to sign up for.


Don't think it happens? I invite you to search the net. I came across an article recently that had the word, "birth rape" in it. I stopped. Wouldn't you? I read on. It was something I'd heard before. Not happened to me, but I've heard women friends talk about this with me. It sickens me. Saddens me. I'll post a little bit of what this word can be defined as. I found this when I typed "birth rape" into a Google search.


A vulnerable woman, who is powerless to leave the situation, is at times held down against her will, has strangers looking & touching at private parts of her body, perhaps without appropriate measures being taken to acknowledge her ownership of her body or to preserve her comfort levels. Perhaps she has fingers or instruments inserted without her consent, and sometimes against her consent, invading and crossing decent boundaries. She is fearful of what is happening to her and perhaps for the wellbeing of her baby, and receives no reassurance that either she or her child are ok. That is a violation, no matter how you look at it. Even IF this treatment is given with no malice and the intent of attempting to assist her with birthing her child, there is NEVER a reason to forgo common decencies that will enable her to maintain a role in the birth, some autonomy over her body, to be involved in the decision-making, to be informed about what they want to do BEFORE they do it.


I'll close this topic with just a few things. If you are curious about some of the now "norms" in childbirth within America, I encourage you to watch "The Business of Being Born" or "Pregnant in America." Some great books are out there as well, anything by Ina May Gaskins is great. And a closing statement on the childbirth subject. I did have an unmedicated birth. I was in labor for about 36 hours. Yes it was intense. Yes I got tired. And a big HELL YES to the fact that it was the most magical, spiritual, life changing experience I ever had or will have. I was totally in tune with my body, and my body knew exactly what it was doing. I was never afraid. I had support. My husband was amazing. My midwife knew what I wanted and respected my wishes. My nurse, an angel. I was informed, educated, and willful. And there are millions of mama's out there who have and are doing it too. Read ladies, take control. You are strong. You are smart. You are made to be a mother. 


Of course it just wouldn't be a post from Amanda if I didn't say something about animals. The more I read and educate myself on the current state of affairs within our government agencies and the way our country is being controlled I can't help but think of all the animals. Just today the Supreme Court overturned a law that had required all "downer" animals to be treated humanely, euthanized, and unfit for human consumption. What does that mean? It means now that this law is no longer in affect, billions of sick animals, unable to stand, walk, maybe even lift their heads, will still be abused, slaughtered and consumed. 


I ask you to watch the following videos. This is just a short little glimpse of the everyday happenings of today's factory farms. And just to set the record straight, only 1% of America's meat comes from family farms. 99% of all meat products come from factories just like the ones you are about to watch. 

This video actually took place at a dairy farm in Plain City, Ohio. This is not an isolated event. This happens everyday. Every minute. This is how factory farm dairy cows live.




This video relates to the law just over turned in California today. A very sad day for animals. 

How can we justify any of these actions? How can people say that animals don't feel? How can people actually carry out such heinous acts on purely innocent beings? Yes cheeseburgers are good, but at what cost? Not only are we murdering babies, but we are destroying the planet and ourselves. I know I'll do a post one day that explores the magnitude of how factory farming affects our land and water. But for now I'll just wrap things up.


These are just a few of the things that weigh on my mind. No, I'm not going to just give up and cry and feel like I can't make a difference. The exact opposite actually. These thoughts drive me, motivate me, encourage me to stay on the path that I am on. To keep making decisions that not only affect me, but that affect the world. 




We are not insignificant. We are the world. We make the world. And we all have the power to make our world a better place. I guess the question is, just how much are you willing to do?